Don't talk to the Parrot

[Terry McNeil]

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.'

'Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!' 'I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!'

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.








The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!'





To which the parrot replied, 'Get him, Spike!'












.

[Joe Owens]

Another parrot joke:

The posh lady of the manor in 16th century england took on a new maid to be at her back and call,but the maid had other ideas and when the lady was away she let her local boyfriend into the manor for some fun.
The butler being a creep,informed the lady that he suspected that the maid was taking advantage of her absence.
So the next time she went out,she told her pet parrot to keep an eye on the maid and to tell her if the maid did anything against her rules.
The maid let the boyfriend into the manor again,and when questioned about it by the lady on her return she said "No your ladyship,I have been alone all evening".
The lady said "If you say so but,let us ask the parrot".
The maid replied "If you wish your ladyship,but why the parrot,"?
When the lady asked the parrot if the maid was alone it replied "Two fat cheeks and no chin scared poor Polly".
And the maid was dismissed on the spot.